Sunday, February 18, 2007

Buried Sense

Anna Nicole Smith has been dead for about a week now. Indeed as Fox News presenters were frantically asking each other on the day of her discovery, "is she still dead?" I think this could be paraphrased with "do we still have a tragedy to sensationalise?"

Anyway, little about Smith's recent life, death or subsequent legal spaghetti is funny - that is, until Florida judge Larry Seidlin was brought in to restore some sort of order regarding Smith's burial location.

As, I'm assuming, is the point, I was glazedly (yes I did just make up that word) glazing over the newsglaze presented by CNN, when my attention was aroused by the oddity that is Seidlin's professional delivery. I needed youtube so I could find comparable clips of Arrested Development's Barry Zuckerkorn (the inept Bluth family lawyer played by Henry Winkler).

Much to my dismay, I could find no clip with which to draw the comparison. I did however come across the following montage of chicken-dance clips:

Among the many odd quotes to come from the mouth of the face attached to the neck attached to Seidlin's slouched leather-chair-bound body,"This body belongs to me right now," he said. "This body's not leaving Broward County till I make the ruling." (FOX NEWS)

Often jokey, at several points in the discussion, Seidlin's comments left most of the lawyers in the room utterly confused. Flattery proved a decent enough appeasement, with all of the lawyers sheepishly thanking the judge for complimenting their fine lawyer work.

"When we bury her, I want it to be forever," Seidlin said.
"For we'll never bury her
In a restless world like this is
Burial is ended before it's begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun."


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